I was feeling a little under the weather and very tired on 4-28-2020. My level of motivation was going up and down, did not have much sleep, learned a very important lesson, and really had to do some soul searching.
Well let's talk about the level of motivation, you see I am in the final days of my second masters program and I have not been very motivated this semester due to a number of factors. I was asked if I am excited about finishing and if I planned to do any celebrating for graduation. I had not thought much about celebrating, I am just ready to be done. I was reminded by my counselor and my husband that I should do something to celebrate even if it is something small. After much thought, I said they are right, this is something to celebrate that God has brought me through. Since about the first full week of being furloughed, I have been staying up late, like it is the weekend everyday and did not get much sleep that night due to working on a few things for school. I think the previous night was also the night a noise awaken me, followed by sighting a waterbug, and possibly having a two year old taking over our sleep space (yes, she sleeps with her momma). Now, the very important lesson, I was watching a live video on Instagram and did not know that you do not have to request to be live in order to comment. Well, I requested to be live and got selected to talk to the CEO of Mielle natural hair products, this call did not go well. Joy decided that she wanted to speak to everyone multiple times and then when she could not continue to speak she screamed to the top of her lungs, the call ended badly. The funny part is that as soon as the call ended, Joy said with a smile the tears had quickly subsided, "Hey Tater, how are you?" and if I recall she said, I love you also with a hug. I learned to not ever hit that button again, also I never would expect someone to pick me. Also during this time, I could not locate my phone, which I later discovered had fallen into the sofa.
Now to the soul searching, I began to doubt my capabilities to promote my health and wellness business and to be honest developed a little envy of those that were having successes on my team. I was like they are all doing so well and I am not doing well at all and then doubt begin to sink in. With this doubt, I had to counter it with positivity and not let the negative control me. Then I had to remind myself that I have a lot going on now and will do better in time, I even begin to doubt starting this blog. Partly because, I just saw that someone else had just released their blog and felt like maybe I should not. My husband and I had a long heartfelt discussion about all these things and he reminded me that I have to stop taking things so personally.
I am working to improve myself mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. One thing I can promise is that I will be transparent.
Thanks for listening! God Bless!!!